What actually happens during menopause?

Menopause. 

A word loaded with emotion, confusion, and – let’s be honest – a lot of myths.

If you’re anywhere from your late 30’s upwards, you’ve probably started to wonder: Is this menopause? 

Or maybe you’re already in it, and you’re just trying to make sense of what your body’s doing.

The truth is, menopause is a natural transition, not a disease, and definitely not the end of anything meaningful. 

But it is a major hormonal shift – and understanding it can make the whole experience less mysterious and a lot more manageable.

Menopause isn’t just one moment

Menopause is officially the point when you haven’t had a period for 12 consecutive months — but the journey starts long before that.

The peri-menopause phase (which can begin in your late 30’s or 40’s) is when most of the symptoms actually happen. 

Hormone levels – particularly oestrogen and progesterone – start to fluctuate. 

Sometimes wildly.

This hormonal seesaw affects pretty much everything in your body.

Symptoms vary (a lot)

Some people barely notice it. 

Others feel like a complete stranger in their own skin. 

Common symptoms include:

• Hot flushes or night sweats
• Mood swings or anxiety
• Irregular periods
• Sleep disturbances
• Weight changes
• Brain fog
• Vaginal dryness
• Fatigue

You don’t have to have all of them. 

You might have just one. 

Or they might come and go like uninvited guests.

And here’s the kicker – symptoms can last for years, not to scare you, but to validate your experience if you’ve been feeling off for a while.

Oestrogen

Drops significantly, affecting everything from your bones to your mood.

Progesterone

Often decreases earlier and faster, leading to heavier, irregular periods before they eventually stop.

Testosterone

Yes, women have it too, and it can impact libido, energy and muscle mass.

The balance between these hormones changes gradually, and the body tries to adapt. 

It’s not a smooth ride for everyone.

It’s not all in your head

There’s a long history of women being dismissed or being gas lighted when it comes to menopausal symptoms.

Me included.

We’re constantly told by medical professionals: ‘If anything feels unusual for you – get it checked.’

So I did. 

I was experiencing very heavy bleeding, not linked to any cycle, feeling utterly fatigued, and just not right in myself. 

I phoned the GP to book an appointment and was told, “They’ll probably ask for a smear test first, so you may as well get that done.”

So I followed the advice – only to be turnedaway at the appointment because I was two months early for my next routine smear. 

I was told the lab would simply discard the sample.

Eventually, I did get to see a doctor. But the moment I walked into the room, he opened with, “So you’re bleeding then.”

I was so taken aback, I’ll admit I was less than polite in my response.

His tone was cold and dismissive. He told me bluntly, “It’s part of life. You just have to get on with it.”

I tried to explain that this bleeding was out of the ordinary for me – that I was doing what we’re told to do: listening to my body. 

He reluctantly agreed to refer me for a scan, but made it clear he wasn’t really interested.

I didn’t go back to that GP.

I did eventually get the scan – about nine months later – and thankfully, all was okay. 

But the whole experience left me feeling ignored, frustrated and incredibly let down.

And just to really add salt to the wound, around a month after being turned away for my smear, I received multiple letters about the importance of regular check-ups and how early detection is vital –  urging me to book an appointment.

You couldn’t make it up, could you?

This is exactly why women end up doubting themselves. 

When you do try to be proactive, you’re fobbed off. 

When you don’t, you’re made to feel irresponsible.

So let me be very clear here:

You are not overreacting. 

You are not imagining things. 

And you absolutely deserve to be taken seriously.

Menopause isn’t just about hot flushes and mood swings – it affects every part of your well being. 

And being dismissed during such a vulnerable time can have a long-lasting impact.

No woman should feel like she has to fight just to be heard.

You have options

This is a big one for me  – because I believe strongly that there’s always an option. 

Whether you want to explore HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), lifestyle changes, movement like Pilates, nutrition, supplements, or holistic support like massage – there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

The key is tuning in to your body and making choices that support you – not just following what’s trendy on social media.

Next week I’ll share how I’ve decided to navigate this journey.

Stop making this a taboo subject

Menopause isn’t shameful. 

It’s not the end of youth, femininity or vitality. 

In fact, for many women, it’s the beginning of a new, more grounded chapter – one where they know themselves better and aren’t afraid to speak up for what they need.

Talking about menopause shouldn’t be awkward or taboo – it should be normal.

So whether you’re just starting to notice changes or you’re deep in the thick of it, know this:

You are not broken.
 

You are not alone.
 

You deserve support that respects your experience.

Menopause isn’t the end of anything – it’s a shift, a re-calibration.

Yes, it’s messy sometimes, but it’s also a chance to re-connect, redefine and rise stronger.

Keep going.  

You’re doing better than you think.

Sam ‘sharing our journey’ Hobbs